There is a model called the tasks of mourning (Worden, J. W. 1991, Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner). Worden, a professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, looked at grief as work to:

- accept the reality of the loss;
- experience and process the psychological distress resulting from the loss;
- adjust to an environment where the deceased is missing;
- emotionally realign the ties with the deceased so that one can go on with life.

The work of mourning? I also read that the normal grieving process can become distorted, and then it is called complicated bereavement. A continuum from normal to complicated? Interesting.

The bottom line is that mourning is hard work and bereavement is complicated, that’s all I would say. It is such an intensely personal ordeal, unpredictable in terms of steps and stages. I do suspect that I experienced a complicated bereavement, it certainly wasn’t simple.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.” Carl Jung.

I acknowledge, with thanks, the very fabulous Susan, who sourced that quote and shared it. It is true I have been balanced by sadness, it might sound funny but I am grateful to have experienced such depth of emotion, and to have befriended my sadness.