I am a fan of the power of words and our use of language. The choice of words and their ordering can influence thinking and the perception of meaning. When describing how Mottsu died, for example, I struggled with the term committed suicide to describe how he died. Committed was the problem, to commit is to perpetrate a transgression. Suicide does violate fundamental moral views but acknowledgement of untreated depression as the major cause of suicide, supports more empathetic language.

I should also argue that those who knew the person who died are likely to feel that a transgression has been committed by virtue of the sorrow inflicted upon them. Even so it is simpler and less judgemental to say died by suicide.

A victim of suicide is, to my mind, is also a poor choice of words. However tragic or misguided a death is, the act of suicide is intentional over accidental. Built into the word victim is the insinuation that something is done to a person over which they had no control. I know suicide as a determined and planned act that is partly explained by being more feasible than the pain of another day.

The families and friends of someone who died by suicide (or a victim of suicide if you insist) are sometimes called suicide survivors. Just to set that record straight we are bereaved and bereft by the loss of someone we love. We may be survivors of the almost inevitable trauma experienced in the aftermath of a suicide, not suicide survivors.

Our vocabulary for death and dying is loaded with euphemisms that create meaning ‘between the lines’. Since Mottsu’s death I’ve found myself particularly sensitive to the meaning implied in our language of death.

Simple language can be considered brutal and choosing words carefully is desirable, difficult and greatly appreciated.