The second stage of grief as Dr Kubler-Ross describes it:

Anger and Resentment: “Why me?”
This stage is typically characterised by fury at whatever caused the loss and you may find yourself enraged at the world, at your higher power, at yourself, or at that which was lost. Nevertheless, this outcry should be accepted and not judged because it is part of the process of working through grief.

The second stage of grief as I experienced it:

Guilt and self recrimination: “I did it”
If you don’t really understand what happened (I don’t) and you’re left behind (I am) then it is sort of inevitable (I think) that you’ll feel a little responsible. There must have a thousand things I could have done to help him and maybe ten to save him. The guilt was punishing and I felt I deserved it. The beautiful life I had lived was gone. Endless rounds of counselling and therapy achieved small improvements and hoards of psychics were consulted for good measure. A future must be possible even if undeserved and I wanted a future.

Sadly the world at large look for your experience of anger as an indication that you’re progressing through the stages. “Are you angry yet?”

I was often asked that question and I did have to wonder what or who I would be angry with… Mottsu and his altered state? It was impossible to judge his actions by our everyday rational standards.

” Angry? Oh…. Do I have to be angry? Is it really required?”

I didn’t get angry, apologies Dr. Kubler-Ross.
Sorry Mottsu, I was never good at angry, and now what would it have changed?

Anger was just too hard, I didn’t have the resentment or the energy, and anger would have felt like blaming. I was determined not to blame…

I still hold that determination, without anger.