That someone chooses to die creates a sense of unease. It’s not the natural order (just ask the church) and increasingly suicide is talked about as preventable.
I often wondered how different my experience of loss might have been if Mottsu had died some other way. Would I have been offered more solace if he had died accidentally rather than quite so deliberately? Could I have talked more (not that I could have talked any less than I did) if he had been taken by some indiscriminate fatal illness?
In many religions killing oneself is as serious a sin as killing another. Apparently only God may take a life.
Apart from what God might or might not condone, there seems to be a deeper existential threat to society at large when someone dies by suicide.
“Affronted and confronted” is the phrase Colin Tatz coined this week to describe our reaction to suicide. He says, “We are, in many senses, as much affronted as confronted by each such event. But this is essentially because we view the individual as belonging to us, to our society. For some religions, life and death belong only to God.”
It’s not easy to understand suicide and I am not sure we try hard enough. The act is shocking and distressing for we who are left to piece together the story and, even so, there could more reflection about why react the way we do.
We could also reflect more about the desperation, the pain, the loneliness and angst that might compel someone to chose not to live.
There seems to be a universal lack of hope, and this lack of hope does not recognize religious borders. Suicide is not just one man’s problem, but it is every man’s burden. It is hard to address suicide because the roots to it are deep and personal to each individual suffering. We can only do so much, but the work has to come from deep within. Suicide has convinced us that one no longer has a choice, but it takes great effort to plot and follow through with a plan, taking a few more minutes to deviate from that plan and face the darkened hollow halls of suicide with support is essential in finding healing through it.
Great blog, lots of insightful writing. Thank you for taking the time out to reach others!
~Shannon
shannongilmour.webs.com
Wow Shannon, I love what you say and how you say it. I have been thinking about a universal lack of hope all day, since I read your note.
I appreciate your insight into dark places rather than marginalising or ignoring them (as many of us tend to do). Thanks so much for sharing.
With love
Anne