I visited my Mum in hospital today, she is in bed 6 of her ward. After a couple of hours and as I was leaving I stopped to chat to Val in bed 5.

Val is going home tomorrow, she will be under the care of a palliative nurse who will help moderate her morphine levels. Val is not quite ready to knock on heaven’s door, but she is walking up the steps.

She has no illusions about what is happening to her, and she is afraid of dying, she said. I agreed it must be scary, I would be scared.

The thing that hurts her most are the tears in the eyes of her children when she talks to them, she said.

Val’s children love her they can’t witness her death without tears in their eyes. We can only do what we can do, and they can’t help the tears.

Who of us knows how to die? Who of us can witness the slow death of someone we love without tears in our eyes?

I reached for Val’s hand and we clung together with warmth, caring and fear.