I listened to a war correspondent talking today about war and the effects on soldiers. He said that war, like grief, was something we don’t ever recover from. He meant that when you go through war (or grief) you never get back to where (or particularly who) you were. Grief, he did say grief I caught it as a quick mention and it started me thinking.
It’s interesting because I do think there is something a little wrong (or at best not quite right) with the idea of fixed or better. There is not enough room for being different. As a society we are fixated on being fixed, I mean as in getting back to where you were, as much as possible returning to who you were before the traumatic war/grief event. I think there is too much emphasis on being fixed and not enough on allowing ourselves to adopt an identity that integrates and accepts our experiences.
Recovery, from grief at least, is over rated. Maybe it is the same with bouts of depression..
I don’t believe in recovery from grief… my experience is that of integration (as you very eloquently describe). Just a new part to my everyday identity. Thank you for writing about things that are rarely talked about.
I love to write about things we don’t speak of enough and could talk of more. Thanks for encouraging me by posting a comment
The idea of recovery – funny it is so obvious and I heard the cynical hardened reporter on TV say we don’t recover from grief and it stopped my in my tracks. Doh!
xxx
I totally agree that we don’t recover from grief as in going back to who we were before a death. We are changed forever so the grieving is really a process of adaption and transformation.
I posted this story on my site because it describes the subtle shift that happens as we move through the process.
On Recovering from Grief
Thanks Susan,
Fabulous thoughts, I looked at your site and your wonderful supportive work
I am glad you shared it with me
With love
Anne