My sister has a theory you attract that which you fear. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, espouses a similar view, that you attract what you wish for. In both instances you receive what you believe, assuming that in the case of fears dread is a form of belief.

Who knows what to believe ?

It is easy to pooh pooh (as Madeline said to the tiger in the zoo). I would pooh pooh the thought of attracting what you fear except that there was ‘that’ dream…

Long ago, when Mottsu was here, I was haunted by a recurring dream. I dreamed the same dream for years, at least five years. I dreamed this dream a number of times before I realised it was being replayed regularly.

Funny, but not ha-ha-ha.

In the dream Mottsu had left me. Within the dream realm I recognised that I had been left, sometimes it is all about me. In dreams at least, I didn’t ever perceive that in leaving he had left altogether. He had left me.

So, as I was explaining, in the dream Mottsu had left. He had gone and (in the dream) I didn’t know why. The experience was distressing, I was distraught not understanding what had happened, why he had left… I cried and cried. My overwhelming memory of the dream is inconsolable sobbing.

Me weeping.

Some nights I would wake myself with a half formed dream wailing, a dull bawling noise. A strangled scream. Some nights Mottsu would wake me, rousing me from the nightmare and I was consoled by his presence.

When he did leave my haunting dream became my life. Of course I remembered the nightmare amid my daytime weeping, while living my worst dream.

We know more than we know we know, dreams provide an account of what is happening in one’s life that you’re not conscious of. C.J. Jung saw dreams as a window to the unconscious. Framed that way, I think depression may have caused Mottsu to leave me, long before his physical departure.

I don’t know.