Detectives investigating the disappearance of a Melbourne businessman are reportedly confident that he is still alive.

Define alive, detectives.

When Mottsu was missing I never felt confident that he was alive. Perhaps dragged down by depression, he hadn’t been truly alive for a while before he left. Alive could be a matter of definition.

On his last day Mottsu said “I think there is something wrong with me, I can’t feel anything”. I’ve said the he said the statement, it was more of a wail, a dull monotonic lament.

I heard his words and the earth stopped spinning on its axis, for a long time I didn’t hear either of us breathe. If ever there was a moment in which to slip into to another reality it was then, a black hole…

Gasping for air, wanting to live and grasping, I clutched his hand then strengthened my hold to full wordless embrace, my last ditch attempt to resuscitate him.